Winners of the Annual Birthday Challenge 2004

Sherlock Holmes is now 150 years old. During his lifetime, he has both seen and observed a great deal about the world. Tell us, in Holmes’ own words, what he has observed about women in recent years and the deductions he has made from his observations. Since the Master has always been concise and direct, you should not require over 250 words to express his opinion.

Interview With The Master

Trish Pearlman

My observations regarding contemporary ladies—pardon me—women fall into two categories, the physical and the sociological. The physical changes are, of course, dramatic. Mrs. Bloomer would be pleased. The outlandish range of fashions, with skirts at all lengths from ankle to, pardon me, bum. Piercings appear in places that savages never thought of. They have tattoos, of all things! Short hair, blue hair, no hair. All of this is, of course, but a reflection of sociological change. The same categories of womanhood still exist, but in different proportions. The working woman is everywhere. Many more occupations are available to a respectable lady—I mean woman. A woman may be your physician and request that you drop your drawers and cough! A woman was even Prime Minister. And conducted a war! Of course, it wasn’t a large war, but still.... Women have a broad range of reactions to traditional feminine privileges. Some insist on retaining all of them and others, at the far end of a broad spectrum, will give you a right dressing down for merely opening a door. Nearly all of the women defend their right to control their own lives like tigresses. I do admire an independent woman!

As to my deductions—obviously the suffragists have triumphed! Women today paddle their own canoes—er—drive their own BMWs. How Mrs. Norton would have loved to see it all.

An Artist’s Rendition

Laurie Fraser Manifold

Laurie wrote us:

My problem with the assignment was my fear that Holmes, while perfectly capable of observing women, has never been able to get past surface observation. He doubtless still categorizes and generalizes, and since he is getting up there in years, he’s probably crotchety about any small advances women have been able to make. (I wonder what he thinks about female detectives?) Any admiration he’s ever shown has been tinged with either a patronizing air or with a certain amount of surprised bemusement. At any rate, I decided that he looks back on the past century of woman’s progress in terms of the vagaries of fashion. Unfortunately, I was not able to put it into words, so I drew it instead.

On His 150th Birthday,

Sherlock Holmes Talks about Women

Sandy Kozinn

“They’re never to be trusted, not the best.

I stand by that…Though there were just a few,

Those who alone exceeded all the rest.

There were some, Watson, one or two we knew…

“Miss Stoner—surely she was stout of heart?

Our Mrs. Hudson, true and loyal friend.

Miss Hunter, too, a woman brave and smart….

Yes, there were some whose reason did not bend.

“There was another, clever, kind, and fair:

Miss Irene Adler, talented, so slim…

She beat me, Watson, beat me fair and square…

I wonder what she ever saw in him.

You know of women. I’m still mystified.”

He sits alone. There’s no one by his side.

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